Monday, March 11, 2013

Why would TV divide us?

Wow months have gone by since I last posted on here.  Since then not much has changed.  We are still in Tucson, still settling in, and still working towards common goals.  LB is still not doing well physically.  She has developed new symptoms and it is adding a lot of downtime for her.  But we have found a nuerologist and hopefully we are going to be on a path to recovery.  So why am I here today?  Because of the TV show The Walking Dead.  We recently started watching the series on Netflix.  So the past 2 episodes we watched have led to a few interesting discussions I feel like sharing.

First thing I should say is LB has always told me I am a true natural born leader.  The kind of guy to walk into a room and have everyone turn to take a look at him.  So the discussions we have had somewhat shook my base.  For those who dont watch here is a brief idea of the few characters I am going to reference:

Rick Grimes: Natural leader of the group.  Sheriff of a small town who gets left behind at a hospital after the zombies take over the world.  He later finds his wife, son, and best friend with a group of survivors.

Shane: Rick's best friend and deputy sheriff.  Took charge of Rick's family after everything went down and he assumed Rick dead.

Lori Grimes: Rick's wife.  "Leader" of the female side of things

Daryl Dixon: White trash hunter/tracker

As we have been watching I have always identified with Rick, the main character and natural leader of the living group.  LB has built my confidence into believing I was that guy.  The natural leader people could count on.  I have always looked at Shane more as my friend G.  He is savvy with weapons, detached from most emotion, and carries a lot of false bravado.  Shane is very good at keeping things safe without worrying about his emotions getting in the way.  He acted as the leader until Rick rejoined them.  So the dynamic is weird between these two for one reason, Lori.  When Shane thought Rick was dead he found Lori and Rick's son and protected them with everything he had.  This of course led to Lori and Shane having "relations".  Once Rick came back Lori cut that off and left Shane with no one.  Shane feeling all alone kind of turned into an A-Hole.  He tried to force himself on Lori at one point and told her he loved her and Rick couldnt protect her and her son.  She denied him and stayed true to Rick.  All that being said here is why it is important, LB told me today she thought of me as Shane!  Said when I feel left out I turn into an A-Hole like that.  This threw me for a loop.  Here I had been built up thinking I had gotten better and became more like Rick because she constantly tells me I was like that.  All of the sudden that wasnt the case.

I am not sure why it went down that way or why I am looked at different now.  I dont really know what to think.  I am hoping by sharing this little story you guys might have some ideas for me.  So if you have any input please help me out!